And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
