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just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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