If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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