Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
