Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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