You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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