Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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