It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
