Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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