He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize