he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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