Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
