Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize