I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize