I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
