my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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