Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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