Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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