come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
