Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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