Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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