Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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