shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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