I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
