Its about making memories worth repressing
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
