do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
