this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
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Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
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i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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