every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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