Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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