Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
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Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
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ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
wow bdsm is so cute
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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