i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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