he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
