Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
