I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize