you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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