I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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