the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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