I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who