plz talk dirty to me
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago