Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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