So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
