Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
