I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
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Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
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I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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