i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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