my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
