This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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