I'm really into asian looking animals
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
