is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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