How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
