But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
