hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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