i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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