the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
