If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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