I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
