At least make sure they are 18
Why
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
