With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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