thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
