How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
