You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
