why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
