i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
