This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
