i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
