I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
