i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
